From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
