Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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