I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
