You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
