i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize