When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
