sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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