And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You ate ashes out of my bong
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
