Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
