I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
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