Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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