my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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