Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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