dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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