worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
