My nipple is on Facebook.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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