Will you blow on my dice?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
