i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
