don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
