Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
