I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
