The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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