you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
