I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
