I looked at my own cervix.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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