He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
