If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize