They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
