why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Even my vagina gasped.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize