I got chris browned last night
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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