i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Never joke about your clitoris.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
