It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
