I want to stick my p in your. b.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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