The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
