As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
