I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
