I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
4 words: hood of his car
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
