If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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