I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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