We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Even my vagina gasped.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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