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Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
