Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
