her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize