You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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