shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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