No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Randomize
