garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
soo... how was my night?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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