My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
