I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
