oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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