But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize