I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
