What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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