i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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