I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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