i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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