Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
