Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
