Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Randomize
