Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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